“Damn.” Phineas turned the Big Boy off, then noticed he’d left the box on the bed. Damn, had Zoltan seen it? He stuffed the phallus back into the box, but must have jammed too hard, for it started wiggling again.“Stop it.” He punched a button, but it merely increased its speed, the tip spiraling in wild circles.Damn! He watched in horror. It was like a whirlybird on steroids! How could a man compete with that? He ripped the balls off it and emptied out the batteries. “Die, you freakin’ dildo, die!”

“Digger motioned to Zoltan. “What about that one? He has funny eyes. Could be an alien.”“He’s Zoltan, a vampire like me,” Phineas explained.“Are you sure? Zoltan sounds like an alien planet.”

“What are you waiting for?" shanna asked. "He's dying! Do it!" Conner looked at Angus. "Ye do it. It was yer idea.""Nay? Ye were the first to suggest it. Ye do it.""I'm no' touching him." Conner said.He nudged Phineas "Ye do it.""I don't even know how!" Phineas poked at Robby. "You do it.""Why me?" Robby turned to Angus. "Ye're the expert. Ye do it."Angus grimaced. "I'm no' doing it. I hate the bugger.""Stop it!" Shanna screamed "You- Forget it! I'll do it myself.""Shanna you don't know how," Roman said."Gods blood. I guess I have to do it." "You guess?" Shanna cried "Are you going to let him die?""He threatens to kill me every time he sees me.”

“Phineas gave Abigail an encouraging smile. “Chillax, dudette. He didn’t want to bite you.”She wondered if she’d overreacted. “He didn’t?”“Naw.” Phineas smirked. “He just wanted to jump your bones.”

“Before he had time to figure it out, his walkie-talkie crackled and a voice came on. He punched a button. "Sheriff here. What's up?" "Someone called about a public disturbance behind schmitty's bar," a woman's voice reported. "Cathy use the proper code number," Billy growled. "There ain't no number for a guy acting like a cockroach!" the woman yelled. "he climbed into their Dumpster and he's wallowing in the trash.”

“The little weasel ripped all the buttons off my couch.Ivan Petrovsky, pg 350”

“Jack zoomed into the clearing at vampire speed. His eyes widened at the sight of Phineas and Brynley hovering twelve feet in the air. “I heard a gunshot. Are you all right?”“Dagnabbit! Another alien!” Digger bellowed.“Where?” Jack glanced behind him, then gasped when Digger shifted back into a bear and charged. He levitated, too. “Merda! Now I see why you’re floating.”