“Jack zoomed into the clearing at vampire speed. His eyes widened at the sight of Phineas and Brynley hovering twelve feet in the air. “I heard a gunshot. Are you all right?”“Dagnabbit! Another alien!” Digger bellowed.“Where?” Jack glanced behind him, then gasped when Digger shifted back into a bear and charged. He levitated, too. “Merda! Now I see why you’re floating.”

“Digger motioned to Zoltan. “What about that one? He has funny eyes. Could be an alien.”“He’s Zoltan, a vampire like me,” Phineas explained.“Are you sure? Zoltan sounds like an alien planet.”

“I see.” The nurse nodded. “How can I help you?”“I’m Inspector Mc—” Phineas halted, obviously having second thoughts about using his real name.“Man-boob,” Brynley finished for him.He stiffened.“What can I do for you, Inspector McMan-boob?” the nurse asked.He gritted his teeth. “It’s muscle.”“Inspector Muscle?” the nurse asked.“Yes. Exactly.” He gave Brynley a triumphant look. “And this is my assistant, Nurse—”“Doctor,” Brynley corrected him.“Doctor . . .” He glanced down at her chest. “A-cup.”“B-cup!”He arched a brow. “You’ll have to prove it.”

“Why? What kind of man would pleasure his woman by hurting her.' Angus paced across the path. ''Tis a man's duty, nay, his privilege, to give his woman all the pleasure she can bear. She should be panting and writhing with pleasure.'Emma remained silent, staring at him. Did she not believe him?He walked toward her. 'A real man would take all night if need be to make sure his woman was fully sated. She should be screaming that she canna endure any more.'Emma's eyes widened.'It should be a man's greatest pleasure to see his woman shuddering in the throes of passion.'She took a deep breath and shifted her weight from one foot to another.He paced back and forth. 'Only when she is begging for him should a man see to his own needs. And he should never, ever harm her.' He stopped in front of her 'Am I totally wrong in this?''No,' she squeaked.”

“Merda! Her lace panties had snagged on his ring, the signet ring he'd inherited from his father, Giacomo Casanova. His father had seduced hundred of women without any problems whatsoever, and he was having trouble with just one. This was the real reason he never used the Casanova name. He could never live up to his father's reputation. The old man was probably laughing in his grave.Nine circles of hell," Jack muttered.Hell?" Lara asked. "I thought I was the Holy Land."You're paradise. Unfortunately, I am stuck there."Her eyes widened. "Stuck?"Normally, I would love being stuck to your lovely bum, but it would look odd if we go sightseeing with my hand under your skirt. Especially in the basilica."She glanced down. "How can you be stuck?"My ring. It's caught in the lace. See?" He moved his hand down her hip, dragging her undies down a few inches.Okay, stop." She bit her lip, frowning, then suddenly giggled. "I can't believe this has happened."I assure you, as much as I had hoped to get your clothes off, this was not part of my original plan."She snorted. "No problem. Just rip yourself loose."Are you sure?" It will destroy you undies."She narrowed her eyes with a seductuve look. "Rip it."Very well." He jerked his hand away, but the panties came with him. He yanked his hand back and forth, but the lacy, latex material simply stretched with him. "Santo cielo, they are indestructible."Lara laughed.He continued to wage battle, but to no avail. "They could use this material to build spaceships.”

“There's no bright side," Phineas objected. "The man's got no gonads.""But she hit the target," Carlos said."The man has got no gonads," Phineas repeated forcefully."It was an accident." Caitlyn set her gun on the counter. "I was aiming for his chest.""You blew his pecker to Connecticut," Phineas muttered.She grinned. "I think you have issues, Phineas. It was only a paper pecker.”

“Right. I can see it now. Merry Christmas, everybody! And by the way, did I tell you I'm a vampire? No need to pass the gravy, just bare your neck-”