“Right. I can see it now. Merry Christmas, everybody! And by the way, did I tell you I'm a vampire? No need to pass the gravy, just bare your neck-”

“Christmas a humbug, uncle!" said Scrooge's nephew. "You don't mean that, I am sure?" "I do," said Scrooge. "Merry Christmas! What right have you to be merry? what reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough.”

“Get me a gun. If I don't go into labor soon, I'm going to shoot myself. And pass the gravy. Pass it now."Valerie - To the Nines”

“Now I say, that with cruelty and oppression it is everybody's business to interfere when they see it; you did right my boy.”

“If your Birthday is on Christmas day and you're not Jesus, you should start telling people your birthday is on June 9 or something. Just read up on the traits of a Gemini. Suddenly you're a multitasker who loves the color yellow. Because not only do you get stuck with them combo gift, you get the combo song. "We wish you a merry Christmas - and happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas - happy birthday, Terry - we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Ye - Birthday, Terry!”

“I don't know where I am, Evan.""I'm seeing red everywhere. It's just...everywhere.""I am underwater right now. You don't understand. I'm underwater.""I need a gun.""Evan? I need-”