“Chocolate friends may not last any longer than fake ones, but they sure as hell taste better.”
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
“Chocolate's better than sex any day.”
“Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better.”
“the existence of broccoli does not in any way affect the taste of chocolate”
“To Yelena, our newest food taster. May you last longer than your predecessor.”