“Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it.”

“Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.”

“Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She didn't want to get her picture taken."Aughh!" she said miserably, looking in the vanity mirror in the truck of the cab and fingering a wavy curl near her temple. "This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. You know what we look like? A couple of emo douche bags.""Well, look at the bright side, Granuaile. Emo Douche Bags would be a great band name."[That's brilliant! It's already the unofficial name of more bands than I can count.]”

“There are many perks to living for twenty-one centuries, and foremost among them is bearing witness to the rare birth of genius. It invariably goes like this: Someone shrugs off the weight of his cultural traditions, ignores the baleful stares of authority, and does something his countrymen think to be completely batshit insane. Of those, Galileo was my personal favorite. Van Gogh comes in second, but he really was batshit insane.”

“Malina looked incredulous. "Are you anything more than a Druid?""Of course I am. I own this shop and I play a mean game of chess, and I've been told that I'm a frakkin' Cylon.""What's a frakkin' Cylon?""I don't know, but it sounds really scary when you say it with a Polish Accent.”

“Witches and I generally don't get along. Druids look at the tapestry of nature and try to make sure the weave of it remains strong, reinforcing the binding amongst all living things and sewing up the threads on the edges that fray and unravel. Witches, on the other hand, often punch holes in the tapestry in the pursuit of personal power, making deals with dark, supernatural forces that want nothing more than to see nature perverted and destroyed.”

“Are you going to kick somebody’s ass?I don’t know. Maybe.Well, I’m not going to worry. I’ve watched you spar with that martial arts dummy in the backyard lots of times, and you always win.Thanks, buddy. I’ll see you soon.”