“Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet paper right next to the wheel and say those are the best ideas anyone's ever had. Scoff at it if you will, but try living for two millennia without it and then we'll talk.”

“I'm done. I'm going to go to bed and read important books about theater.""It would would be easier if you just said porn," Scarlett said."No idea what you're talking about. But knock first if you need me.”

“Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –""Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.""Great idea though, thanks, Mum.”

“Ooooh," Kate groans, Kate herself now. "I'm so afraid." "I know." "What am I going to do?" "You mean right now?" "Yes.""We'll go to my car. Then we'll drive down to the French Market and get some coffee. Then we'll go home." "Is everything going to be all right?" "Yes." "Tell me. Say it." "Everything is going to be all right.”

“I have good idea, for if you meet some person from different religion and he want to make argument about God. My idea is, you listen to everything this man say about God. Never argue about God with him. Best thing to say is, 'I agree with you.' Then you go home, pray what you want. This is my idea for people to have peace about religion.”

“Next caller. Betty, you're on the air. What's your question ?""Hi, Kitty. I just wanted to know, are you going out with that Cormac guy from last month?"My jaw dropped. "What?""Are you going out with that Cormac guy?""We are talking about the same Cormac who tried to kill me on the air, yes? the guy who hunts werewolves for a living ?""Uh-huh.""And you want to know if I'm dating him ? Why on earth do you think that's a good idea?”