“You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget; they just get too excited.”

“I'd have to ask Oberon to leave him a present on his front doorstep. He'd do it camouflaged too, so that even if Mr. Semerdjian was watching - and he probably would be - it would appear to be undeniable, physical evidence that, sometimes, shit just happens.”

“Lie down and offer your throat. No, wait, that's how dogs submit. I know! Offer her you're wallet!" Oberon”

“I think every creature near enough to hear that just pooped" Oberon said, "And then it went into hiding. Hunting tip number one:Stay Silent.”

“this is weird, I feel like I should be telling you a story right now." Oberon”

“Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer. Your fly has been open all this time, by the way, and Granuaile hasn't said a thing.Thanks, buddy, I said silently as I tried to surreptitiously zip up my jeans.See? I got your back AND your front. I deserve a treat.”

“Oberon Atticus "Gods below, I think you're right. Quick, to the Geekmobile!”