“GOD DOESN’T HATE FAGS ORANYBODY ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.GOD SAVES! THEN, GOD PASSES ITTO GRETZKY - WHO ROOFS THATSHIT, TOP-SHELF! THEN GOD ANDGRETZKY HIGH FIVE & BELLY-BUMP,CELEBRATING THEIR HOCKEYPROWESS. AND NEVER ONCE DOTHEY GIVE A SHIT IF ANYBODY’SGAY OR NOT.”

“God has to let fags in heaven. Who else could help him decorate, cook, and entertain? We're kind of everywhere.”

“Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes.”

“New beatitudes came from him [Bobby]: “Blessed are those who live in hovels, for God will give them palaces in heaven.”He gave them new commandments:“God weeps when anyone kills in his name; kill not.“God hates hate; hate not.“God loves love; love more.“You need not trust in God; you need hope that God will trust in you."You are your own master. The way is within you.”

“The text says that when the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, _he_ loved her. God was saying, 'I am the real bridegroom. I am the husband of the husbandless. I am the father of the fatherless.' This is the God who saves by grace. The gods of moralistic religions favor the successful and the overachievers. THe are the ones who climb the moral ladder up to heaven. But the God of the Bible is the one who comes down into this world to accomplish a salvation and give us a grace we could never attain ourselves.”

“[he]. . . hated God . . . actually, he just hated Christians . . . He never met God. Why should he care about somebody he never met?”