“Daylight Savings"Like the money the lightdoesn't goas far these days”

“The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.”

“Do onto others what others won’t do for themselves. If they won’t save their money, I’ll save their money for them.”

“Things like,Brothers and sisters!Saving money!Setting the table!True love...... I MEAN! Foods you don't like!”

“Employment: I’ll trade my time and labor for your money. So time is not money, because money is time plus labor. I spend my time saving money, I spend my money saving time, and I labor hard to not labor hard.”

“I object to being told that I am saving daylight when my reason tells me that I am doing nothing of the kind... At the back of the Daylight Saving scheme, I detect the bony, blue-fingered hand of Puritanism, eager to push people into bed earlier, and get them up earlier, to make them healthy, wealthy, and wise in spite of themselves.”