“If America taught me anything, it's that quitting is right up there with pissing in the Girl Scouts' lemonade jar.”

“The Girl Scouts allow homosexuals and atheists to join their ranks, and they have become a pro-abortion feminist training corps. If the Girl Scouts of America can't get back to teaching real character, perhaps it will be time to look for our cookies elsewhere.”

“Latin America taught me a lot. It's a market leader in kidnap.”

“Hey you know what they say you should do when life gives you lemons?"The sudden change in topic made my head spin, "Make lemonade?" I answered weakly."Lemonade? Who the fuck do you hang out with, Girl Scouts? No, when life gives you lemons, you add vodka and make a lemon drop.”

“You took your meds today, right?" he whispered. I nodded. Then use this jar to save it." Save . . . ?" Your urine. If you give them some of today's tomorrow, it'll seem like you're still taking your meds." You want me to . . . dole it out? Into specimen jars?" Got a better idea?" Um, no, but ..." I lifted the jar and stared into it. Oh, for God's sake. Save your piss. Don't save your piss. It's all the same to me." Simon peeked around the corner, brows lifted. "I was going to ask what you guys were doing, but hearing that, I think I'll pass.”

“Girl scouts didn't teach me what to do with emotionally unstable drunk boys.”