“I let my face go blank and nodded slowly. "Yes.The trolls.Back. With me. Cannot form.Complete sentences." I shook my head. "Yeah,so not happening."He considered me,annoyed and at a loss for what to do next."I don't kill humans.""Me niether!See,common ground already.”

“Something smashed to the ground. Jack looked at me, all the mugs forgotten. "I'm not going to let anyone kill you." He grinned. "If I don't get to, no one should.”

“Then I'm afraid we'll have to lose our common ground." Flashing his fangs,he lunged forward.I drew my arm back and punched him full in the face."Ow!" we screamed in unison as he clutched his nose and I shook my poor, poor hand.Why didn't anyone ever tell me punching faces hurts?"You hit me!""You were trying to bite me!"We glared at each other,intensity somewhat diminished by the hand he still held to his nose. "So what now?" he asked,smooth voice muffled."I haven't thought that far ahead yet.”

“And..it was Jack. Jack. Of the many things I'd considered doing to him, most involved violence.None of them involved lip-on-lip action.I jerked my head back,but it wasn't hard to get away,since he pulled back at the same moment.He wrinkled his nose. "Well, that was...interesting. Always wanted to try it,but now that I have,I'm pretty sure I never want to again."Furious,I smacked him in the shoulder with my free hand, hating that we still had to have one clasped so I wouldn't be lost forever. "You"-smack-"little"-smack-"freak!"-smack. "What was that?!" SMACK.He dodged another volley. "And I had been under the impression that afterward was a little less"-he winced as I connected hard-"painful.""Listen,creep,if I wanted you to kiss me,I would have asked! And I didn't. And I wouldn't! And if you ever try that again,so help me,I will find that fossegrim and throw you to a watery death!"And then-as if his awkward,terrible kiss weren't bad enough-he started laughing."SHUT UP!"He shook his head,grinning smugly. "See? Two goals accomplished. One:try out kissing. Miserable failure, no doubt your fault,but a noble effort nonetheless.I should find your friend Carlee. She's probably better at it than you are."Why couldn't my glamour-piercing eyes have a laser function? I wouldn't kill him. I'd just burn the word "freak" into his forehead."Aren't you going to ask me what my second goal was?" He batted his eyelashed at me."No,I'm not."He nudged me in the ribs with his elbow. "You aren't crying anymore, are you?"I'd have to let go of his hand to throttle him. So that option was out. "Being so mad I'd like to kill you is better?”

“What are you?" I whispered. "What are you?" Offended, I frowned. "Human." "Funny, me too." "No, you're not." "Funny, neither are you." I set my jaw and glared. What a jerk. "Why did you come here?" My voice came from his mouth, disconcerting as always. "I could ask you the same thing. Are you going to kill me?”

“Do you have a driver's license?"He laughed. "That's important?""Oh yeah! I'd kill for a driver's license! Hey, maybe that's what the poem means! I'm going to go berserk and start attacking people because they won't let me drive...""Could be, you never know. But yes, I have a driver's license."I leaned back against the wall, sighing. "Man, that must be so cool.""It ranks right up there with lockers. In fact, sometimes I put my drivers license inside my locker, and it's so cool I worry that the whole thing might explode with the sheer coolness of it all.”

“Oh relax." I waved my hand dismissively. "If he wanted to kill me, he already would have. I brought him all these sharp pencils, ideal for stabbing, and he's been a perfect gentleman.”