“If he wakes up, I swear I’ll do anything. I’ll open gates, I’ll help all the paranormals, I’llnever judge people wearing Crocs again. Just let him wake up. Please.”

“Every single floorboard quivers and shudders under my feet, and I start mentally bargaining with the house: If I make it to the front door without waking up Aunt Carol, I swear to God I’ll never slam another door. I’ll never call you “an old piece of turd” again.”

“[...] “I want to wake up with you in the morning, I want to fight with you in the afternoon, and I want to make love on any and every available surface in this place. And then I want to do it all over again. Come upstairs with me, Sophie. I’ll keep you warm. I’ll keep the darkness away.”

“I’ll never let go of you again,” she whispered. “I swear it.”

“I’ll leave before anyone wakes up. Promise.” “They’ll hear us,” I said, my heart pounding in growing panic. “I’ll take off my boots.” “How will that help you keep your mouth shut while we have sex?”

“I could either buy one missile, or 88,000 cups of coffee. Both would wake me up, but the coffee would also wake up North Korea. I’ll go with the coffee.
”