“Maybe I shouldn’t mouth off to the elemental I kinda hoped was myfuture mother-in-law.”

“Dammit," Dale cussed. "I was kinda hoping Congress got ate.”

“I feel emotionally conflicted. It's like when your mother in-law drives off a cliff in your new Porsche.”

“I accept the hard reality that I maybe might possibly be just the slightest tiniest littlest bit kinda sorta interested in him.”

“Thus it was that in obedience to the law laid down by his mother, and in obedience to the law of that unknown and nameless thing, fear, he kept away from the mouth of the cave.”

“There are, I have discovered, ten commandments for mother-in-law. These rules are not mine. They come from mothers-in-law of every color, race, class, and disposition. Given the diversity of the women, the uniformity of opinion on this compels attention -- also discussion. Here are the ten most recommended rules:1. Keep your mouth shut.2. Keep your mouth shut.3. Keep your mouth shut.4. Keep your mouth shut.5. Keep your mouth shut.6. Keep your mouth shut.7. Keep your mouth shut.8. Keep your mouth shut.9. Keep your mouth shut.10. Keep your mouth shut.”