“You know when you're on the edge of wake and sleep,and the dream you're leaving feels more real to you than anythin the world has to offer? When you open your eyes,it's as though part of you stayed,and you know you'll nver feel things quite as deeply, experience them quite as truly as you had in that tiny space of awareness between darkness and light. We're going into that." I held my breath,and he snapped out of whatever state he was in.Winking, he opened a door. "Welcome to the Faerie Realms.”

“Where are you going?" I asked,feeling guilty for not being able to hang out with him."To find a faerie to kill me,of course." He winked at us,then pretended to fall straight through when the faerie door opened. Even Arianna laughed as the door closed behind him."Where did you find that one?""I have no idea.I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.""They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.""You're one to talk.Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?”

“Where are you going?" I asked, feeling guilty for not being able to hang out with him."To find a faerie to kill me, of course." He winked at us, then pretended to fall straight through when the faerie door opened. Even Arianna laughed as the door closed behind him.”

“I said home." He laughed again. "You didn't say whose." Furious and too tired to deal with any more faerie crap, I opened my mouth to tell him exactly where to take me and where he could go after that. I wasn't sure a faerie could obey a command to go to hell, but I was going to find out.”

“Jack put his hands on his hips, surveying the scene with a satisfied nod. "That turned out much better than I'd hoped.""Please,let's leave!""What's your hurry? Let's take a moment to bask in the satisfaction of a job well done.""I didn't want to do that!""No?" He cocked his head and raised his eyebrows. "I thought you hated the fey.""I do,but that doesn't mean I want to run around the Faerie Realms lighting everything on fire!""What's the point in hating something if you aren't proactive?" He put his arm around my shoulders, steering me to look at the inferno with him. "You can't tell me that's not satisfying, not after what you saw.Faeries care about very few things,but they're quite fond of their little trinkets. That boat was a particular favorite of hers,not to mention the entire lake. All the centuries she spent crafting this landscape,then poof! One excellently thrown firebomb, and you've made her feel anger and pain more deeply than she's probably ever known. And far less than she deserves to know.”

“The reason faeries don't like iron is that it ties them too strongly to this world. The Paths aren't part of this world - you can't take iron there. It won't let you.'I frowned. "You do realize that makes no sense."'Unlike being able to open a door in the wall and take you to another hemisphere in a matter of minutes? How odd. Everything about Faerie is usually so rational.”

“Bleeping faeries," I muttered darkly. Why couldn't they leave me alone?Uber-vamp's eyes lit up. "Faeries? Do you know where I can find one?"I rolled my eyes. "Trust me,if I could, I'd set you loose on the whole race.”