“You should never have a job that you hate so much you think "Thank God it's Friday" every week of your life.”

“If you were advising your great-granddaughter about the man you have a crush on at this moment-what would you tell her? Would you be protective, and tell her to kick this man to the curb because he's treating her so badly, or would you tell her to hold on to this man for dear life? Now, why aren't you taking your own advice?”

“There comes a moment in your life when you realize that no matter how hard you try, you're never going to be fluent in Spanish. Or go on that African safari you've read about since you were a kid. Or be as excited as you used to be about catching fireflies. I keep trying to find my answer to life - and it gets more elusive the older I get.”

“Well, let's face it, you're not stupid. You knew there were a lot of things wrong in the relationship, you just chose to ignore them because there were so many good things you didn't want to give up. Now, you're at the point in your life where you're strong enough to give up the good stuff. You're strong enough to expect more from your life. I'm proud of you for that. Most women aren't that strong. They're so terrified of being alone that they stay with the wrong guy, rather than risk loneliness waiting for the right guy.”

“There should be a phone service that turns off your phone between midnight and six A.M. every night. And if you want to make a call, you have to pick up the phone and talk to an operator: Put me through to AAA. My car battery's dead. Yes, ma'am. Put me through to Pink Dot. I need vanilla Häagen-Dazs toute de suite! Yes, ma'am. Put me through to my ex-boyfriend... I'm sorry, ma'am, the operator would say. That would be a bad idea. Now you go to bed before you do anything stupid.”

“Men aren't stupid, and you don't need a complicated set of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here's the only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything he can to keep you around. Anything.”

“I languish around in my life, never quite doing what I set out to do. I am tired of being a silver medalist, and tired of fighting uphill battles that I only sort of win.”