“And you managed to leave the house and be the hero. Who do you think you are, Spider-Man?”

“And you pretend to be stupid, which is completely disingenuous. Big word, but I know you know what it means.”

“Wow, you mean Tiffany’s an evil wench? I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you!” I patted my heart in faux surprise.”

“You know where you can shove your joke. Just get me a new drink and try not to include and of your STD-laced body fluid in it this time.”

“You can date every girl in town as far as I’m concerned. I hate you. I pray every night that you’ll fall victim to some strange and unusual castration accident.”

“Did you know that ninety-eight percent of statistics are made up on the spot?”

“Listen, I gather you have a problem working with a psychic. Believe me, I don't like working with a jackass any better.”