“I sniffed, wiping my eyes. “Look at that,” I muttered. “The bastardmade me cry.”Jenks’ wings made a cool spot on my neck. “Want me to pixy him?”“No. But now I don’t have the chance of a ghost’s fart in a windstormto get that Pandora charm.” That’s not really what was bothering me,though. It was Trent. Why did I even care what he thought?”

“But knowing what I don’t want to do doesn’t help me figure out what I do want to do. I could do just about anything if somebody made me. But I don’t have an image of the one thing I really want to do. That’s my problem now. I can’t find the image.”

“Do I look like someone you know? Well you don’t know me, so why don’t you go bother my clone? And if you do see my clone, tell him I should have made an omelet out of him when I had the chance.”

“We have got to cool down. You’re driving me crazy.” I bit my lip as I stared up at him mischievously. “I thought that was the whole point.” He shook his head and groaned. “You really want me to get shot, don’t you?” “Not at all. We couldn’t do this anymore if you were.” I had no idea what made me feel so bold with him. I’d never behaved this way with anyone in my entire life, but I liked it. The things he made me feel were incredible.”

“It happens when I get really excited. The more excited I get, the more I vibrate.”“Now there’s a thought,” Lor says.“If you mean what I think you mean, you want to shut the fuck up and never think it again,” Ryodan says.“Just saying, boss,” Lor says. “You can’t tell me you didn’t think it, too.”I never understand half of what these dudes are talking about and don’t care. “You can touch me if you want to,” I say to Lor magnanimously. I’m so pumped on adrenaline and excitement that I’m feeling downright sociable. I poke one of my shoulders toward him. “Check me out. It feels really cool.”All heads swivel my way, then they look back at Ryodan.“He doesn’t own my fecking shoulder. Why you looking at him?”

“Maybe even Mom wouldn't get it - why I doubt. Why I question. Maybe no one can understand what this feels like but me. I touch my neck, the spot where the cross charm hangs on Mom's neck. No one can understand because . . . they really don't know any better than I do. No matter what they think, how sure they are they've got everything figured out, they're as in the dark as I am.”