“Oh, God, I’m going to be a hundred and sixty with a flower on my ass.”

“What a slug’s ass. If he doesn’t go to the hospital and die on paper, then we have a dead vamp to explain and will be brought up on insurance fraud. Rache, I’m too pretty to go to jail!”

“Tagged by a whiny little vamp. Rache, take this sword and stick it in me. Just go and stick it in me. I'm a back-drafted, crumpled-winged, dust-caked, dew-assed excuse of a backup. Worthless as a pixy condom. Taken down by my own partner. Just tape my ass shut and let me fart out my mouth.”

“Tagged by a whiny little vamp," he said gesturing. "Rache, take this sword and stick it in me. Just go and stick it in me. I'm a back-drafted, crumpled-winged, dust-caked, dew-assed excuse of a backup. Worthless as a pixy condom. Taken down by my own partner. Just tape my ass shut and let me fart out my mouth.”

“Hello-o-o-o-o, Nick,” I said, hitting thek hard. “You’re the world’s biggest jerk for what you did to Jax. You ever show your scrawny face in Cincinnati again, and I’m going to shove a broomstick up your ass and set it on fire. You got that?”

“He’s my bodyguard,” I said tightly. “You know that. I don’t trust you. I should walk away from this, but I’m here, and I’m going to take a look. He stays. Got a problem, take it up with my mom.”

“Her smile turned wicked. “And I’m not a silly girl to be blinded by a tidy posterior and expansive landholdings.” Tidy posterior and expansive landholdings? Was that the Dark Ages equivalent of a tight ass and a lot of money?”