“Ewww!" Clair shrieked, shoving Chelsea away. "Get away from me!""Leave her Alone Chels" Jules interupted, "or you're going to make her start on her "It's Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve" Speech”

“Chelsea, of course, was the first one to speak up. “Okay, am I the only one who noticed how gi-mungous Mimi Nichols’s dress makes her ass look? Of course, you can barely notice it since her freakishly giant boobs are practically hanging out the top of it.” Chelsea glanced at Jules and grinned. “No offense, of course,” she offered, raising her eyebrows at Jules’s chest.Claire giggled, and Jules wrinkled up her face in disgust at Chelsea’s teasing barb. “You’re just jealous,” she retorted, eyeing Chelsea’s chest in return.“Touche, Jules. Touche!” Chelsea admitted.Claire wanted so badly to join in on the catty conversation, but she was terrible at finding other people’s flaws . . . at least intentionally. Still, she gave it her best shot. “And what about Jennifer Cummings?” she asked accusingly, trying to mimic one of Chelsea’s cutting looks.They looked around at one another, wondering what it was that they weren’t getting. Chelsea was the only one brave enough to ask, “What about her, Claire?”“She does not even look kind of cute!” Claire stated, her face a mask of mock horror.They all stared at her, not sure what to say.And then once again, of course, it was Chelsea who broke the stunned silence. “I swear, Claire-bear, I am going to call your mom and tell her you need to start riding the short bus. You really need to start practicing your bitchy comments. What are you gonna do when we’re not here to get your back?”Claire rolled her eyes, too oblivious to be insulted, which was why she was the perfect friends for Chelsea, who was too insulting to be obvious. “Geez, Chels, I don’t even ride the bus.”Jules couldn’t help herself; despite her best efforts to hold on to her detached cool, she started laughing. And pretty soon they were all laughing, even Claire, who still didn’t realize what they were laughing at.“You guys are so mean!” Violet charged accusingly. “Can’t you just have fun and stop picking everyone part?”Chelsea looked disgusted. “You’ve gone soft, haven’t you? Jay has made you soft!”Violet rolled her eyes, smiling despite her best efforts. “Whatever. Everyone’s soft compared to you.”“Ouch!” Chelsea pretended to be wounded. But again, she just couldn’t pull it off.”

“Where’s new-Jay?” Jules asked, and then she and Chelsea exchanged a look and started cracking up at their own joke.Even Claire, who was generally so serious about everything, giggled a little.Violet rolled her eyes. “How long did it take you geniuses to plan that little gem?” she accused her friends, which only made them laugh harder. She shook her head. “You two are idiots,” she said, biting into her apple again and deciding to ignore them.“Which is it, Violet?” Claire asked. “Are they geniuses or idiots?”Chelsea leaned into Jules now, laughing so hard at their stupid joke that no sound was even coming out of her mouth anymore.Violet looked up from Chelsea to Jules and then back to Claire. “Idiots,” she stated flatly.There was another long moment as the Two Stooges struggled to regain their composure.“Come on, Vi. If we can’t joke about new-Jay, who can we joke about?” Chelsea asked, finally getting herself under control. She used a paper napkin to dab at her watering eyes.“Joke about whatever you want,” Violet stated as blandly as possible. “It’s not your fault you’re not funny.”

“I knew her well enough to understand that when Delia pushed you away, it was her way of making sure she didn't get shoved first.”

“Where Eve chooses to go, Adam is bound to travel.”

“School went exactly as Violet thought it would: weird. It wasn’t her best, and it wasn’t her worst, day ever. It was just weird.Jay was true to his word, deciding not to hold anything back. And it started the second they got out of the car, when he claimed her hand and refused to let go, even when Violet tugged and pulled to try to get it away from him. He ignored her mute protests and held on tight, smiling more to himself than to her, and paraded her right into the school like that.Not that they’d never held hands before, because they had. But this was entirely different, and Jay was hell-bent on making sure that everyone knew it. And just in case anyone wondered what the hand-holding actually meant, he made sure to clear things up for them by planting a big, albeit very satisfying, kiss on her lips, right in the middle of the hallway. Violet didn’t try to pull away from that; in fact, she was dismayed to find herself leaning into him, craving more, and not caring—at least at that moment—who might see them together.Unfortunately that person turned out to be Chelsea. Chelsea, of all people, along with Claire, who happened to walk up at very inopportune instant.“Well, well, well,” Chelsea said in an oh-so-innocent voice. “Look what we have here, Claire-bear. It’s old Jay and Violet.” The unconcealed smile was embedded deep in her voice. “Only, and correct me if I’m wrong, this looks a little more than friendly, don’t you think?”“I never kiss my friends like that,” Claire replied, blank-faced and serious, oblivious to sarcasm.Jay’s answer was to pull Violet closer, wrapping his arm around her waist. Violet cringed.Chelsea cocked her head at Claire. “I was just trying to make a point.”Claire looked confused. “What point?”“Seriously, Claire? That Violet and Jay are dating now.” She glanced away from poor confused Claire and flashed a gloating look to the couple in front of her. “It’s about time, by the way. I think everyone will thank you for putting us all out of our misery. I, for one, was completely fed up with watching you two lovesick puppies pining over each other. Seriously, it was disgusting.”She grabbed Claire by the sleeve of her snug, body-hugging hoodie and led her down the hallway, toward their first-period class. Violet watched in stunned silence, processing everything that Chelsea had said to them, as Claire bounded along in Chelsea’s commanding wake.Jay decided that it was his turn to gloat. “You pined for me?” he asked, stupid grin and all.Violet hit him in the arm. “Shut up!” She shook her head. “I’m pretty sure she was talking about you anyway.”