“Myth: Garlic repels vampires.Truth: Try telling that to my dad. ”

“Myth: Vampires don't eat. Truth: Try telling that to my uncle Mortey. ”

“Myth: Vampires have huge stockpiles of gold and treasure.Truth: If that were true, I'd be able to get my dad to actually buy me a car. ”

“Myth: Vampires have incredible vision. Truth: Yeah, which is cool, unless you're trying to sneak something past your eagle-eyed mom.”

“Myth: Vampires can read minds. Truth: Geez, I hope not. But it would explain some things about my mom. ”

“Myth: Vampires don't existTruth: Dead wrong.”

“Myth: A stake through the heart will kill a vampire.Truth: Well, duh. It would kill anyone.”