“Myth: Garlic repels vampires.Truth: Try telling that to my dad. ”
“Myth: Vampires don't eat. Truth: Try telling that to my uncle Mortey. ”
“I tried not to feel hurt. Here was my own dad,telling me he was sorry i'd been born.”
“Myth: Vampires have huge stockpiles of gold and treasure.Truth: If that were true, I'd be able to get my dad to actually buy me a car. ”
“If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic.”
“My dad always used to tell me __________________. My dad never told me anything. He had nothing to say, and even less to say to me.”