“You know, while you’re off sexercizing, I’ll be sitting here all by my lonesome watching lame ass lifetime movies.”

“Weird? One day you’re normal and the next, you’re walking around with a butterfly attached to your back. Then Malice in Wonderland tries to squeeze my head off, and you’re calling it weird. This is beyond weird. Crazy, fantastical even, but definitely not weird.”

“If by it, you mean that big ass vein in the middle of your forehead, then yeah. It moved all right and it’s still pulsing.”

“You kind of lose the right to bitch someone out when you’re no longer slapping groins.”

“Either you’re one hell of an actress, or you’re the dumbest person to ever walk the face of this planet.”

“Don’t you think it’s best that you stay away from mortals? You know they break so easily these days.”

“Because looking at you is like falling into a black hole—stupid, confusing, and probablydetrimental to my existence.”