“Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but...”

“Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.”

“If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.”

“I was so high, I needed a stepladder to scratch my own ass.”

“I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.”

“There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979”

“But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and realizing suddenly that all this time you've been living without really and truly living and by then it's too late. When you wake up to that kind of realization, it's too late for wishes and regrets. It's even too late to dream.”