“It seems the women have decided I must put a stop to the feud against the MacDouglas or else they’ll serve us no more. (Lochlan)In any capacity. (Ewan)By Satan’s hairy toes, Sin, it appears I’ve died and gone to hell. (Braden)”

“Clumsy? Why, I’ve had more women than you, you whelp. Well. Maybe not more than you, but certainly more than Ewan. (Lochlan)That’s not saying much. My left boot has had more women than Ewan. (Braden)”

“Nay, Father. You’ve a wedding to be about. I want no one to ever question my right to this lady again. (Ewan)Ewan. You’ll pass out before it’s through. (Lochlan)Then toss some water on my face, prop me up and make sure I say ‘I do’ when I need to. (Ewan)”

“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.I refuse to say this. If it means I will have to forgive Mrs. Smeath or else go to Hell when I die, I'm ready to go. Jesus must have known how hard it is to forgive, that was why he put this in. He was always putting in things that were impossible to do really, such as giving away all your money.”

“In my confused state I wondered if I had not died and gone to hell. And if this was the case, I wished that I had been allowed more opportunities to sin, for this seemed a rather excessive judgement on what had been a frankly dull and blameless life. But I was not dead. I could see that now.”

“Nay! Can it be Braden’s made it a whole hour without a woman? Quick, Lochlan, send for a healer afore he collapses from the stress of celibacy. (Ewan)Now, that’s no joking matter. It’s not good for a man to go too long without a woman. His juices back up and before you know it, he turns into a soured, ill-tempered beastie…So that’s what happened to you! Come. We’d best find you a woman quickly before you get any worse. (Braden)”