“sassysnacks!”

“There have been so many times I felt like I've ended the conversation lately I've decided that if I had a Wu Tang name it'd be Threadkilla. ”

“My worst kiss could have been an outtake from Species. I think she thought my epiglottis was a punching bag.”

“Eating was a welcome distraction, not for us but for them. However the piles on the plates clashed (macaroni cheese sauce oozing orangely under the spinach salad), however sour the mixtures they made (runaway grapes rolling in the gravy!), our guests chewed to prove that their existence hadn't been diverted. For the price of a quick casserole, they bribed us into agreeing that this was God's plan, life was going on. Their cliches were breath mints: they wanted us to suck away to sweeten the bad taste our misfortune left in their mouths. And so we did.”

“Somewhere along the line I began compiling myself from the excerpts of better men.”

“The twentieth-century conservative is concerned, first of all, for the regeneration of the spirit and character – with the perennial problem of the inner order of the soul, the restoration of the ethical understanding, and the religious sanction upon which any life worth living is founded. This is conservatism at its highest.”

“If you want to have order in the commonwealth, you first have to have order in the individual soul.”