“They give me the evil eye every Sunday. In Church. It's like they expect the altar to melt or a million locusts to fly out of my butt.”

“Don't expect me to be perfect. Despite all my lives, I'm still only human. I can't deliver perfection, and I'll only disappoint you. But I want you to know that you are the most important person to me. I'm trying to protect you.Sometimes I screw things up. I may even tell a white lie every now and then. But you have to give me the benefit of the doubt.”

“Imogene always sitson the remote. It’s probably wedged between her butt cheeks.”“Should I go get a crowbar?”

“I've always found that one of the biggest benefits of being a girl is that most people refuse to take you seriously. While boys must be constantly monitored and are always the first suspects when anything goes wrong, everyone expects girls to do what they're told. It may seem a little insulting at first, but low expectations can be a blessing in disuise. If you're smart, you can use people's foolishness to your own advantage. It's amazing what you can get away with when no one bothers watching.”

“Sometimes when we're in love, we take the facts and spin them into pretty stories. But it's a dangerous thing to do--because one day, like it or not, you're going to see the world as it really is. You find out people aren't always who you want them to be. And if you're not ready for the truth...well, let's just say it can come as a bit of a shock.”

“This is April," he said, holding up the chicken. "She's the only friend I have left. I saved her from an evil chef at Tavern on the Green, and we've pledged eternal friendship.”

“You in the back," said the principal. "Don't think you can hide. Tell me. What would you like to be?""Dangerous," said the hidden girl, without a second's hesitation.”