“It's hard to explain, but it's related to me know that for every moment of beauty this place gives me, I probably miss a thousand more. And I want them all. I swear I'd live on the dunes if I could. I was born out of my time. I should have been around during the end of the eighteenth century, when the Romantic Era kicked off, and writers and artists were obsessed with nature: the ocean, the mountains, the sky. And they believed in following their own path, experimenting, not blindly obeying rules.I found a quote by Henry David Thoreau- "I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life"...It made me cry. Urgency is so beautiful.”

“I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life”

“They turn the water off, so I live without water,they build walls higher, so I live without treetops,they paint the windows black, so I live without sunshine,they lock my cage, so I live without going anywhere,they take each last tear I have, I live without tears,...they take my heart and rip it open, I live without heart,they take my life and crush it, so I live without a future,they say I am beastly and fiendish, so I have no friends,they stop up each hope, so I have no passage out of hell,they give me pain, so I live with pain,they give me hate, so I live with my hate,they have changed me, and I am not the same man,they give me no shower, so I live with my smell,they separate me from my brothers, so I live without brothers,who understands me when I say this is beautiful?who understands me when I say I have found other freedoms?I cannot fly or make something appear in my hand,I cannot make the heavens open or the earth tremble,I can live with myself, and I am amazed at myself, my love, my beauty,I am taken by my failures, astounded by my fears,I am stubborn and childish,in the midst of this wreckage of life they incurred,I practice being myself,and I have found parts of myself never dreamed of by me,they were goaded out from under rocks in my heartwhen the walls were built higher,when the water was turned off and the windows painted black.I followed these signslike an old tracker and followed the tracks deep into myselffollowed the blood-spotted path,deeper into dangerous regions, and found so many parts of myself,who taught me water is not everything,and gave me new eyes to see through walls,and when they spoke, sunlight came out of their mouths,and I was laughing at me with them,we laughed like children and made pacts to always be loyal,who understands me when I say this is beautiful?”

“I want to live. I want to live life with all it's emotions, all it's experiences, I don't want to miss anyhting. But I feel like I will.”

“I wrapped my arms around me as tightly as I could, and stared up at the stars. Had I not been so cold and wanting to escape so badly, I could have stared at them forever: They were amazingly beautiful, so dense and bright. My eyes could get lost up there if I left them looking long enough. [...] They swallowed me up. They were like a hundred thousand tiny candles, sending out hope.”

“I am one in a row of specimens. It's when I try to flutter out of line that he hates me. I'm meant to be dead, pinned, always the same, always beautiful. He knows that part of my beauty is being alive. but it's the dead me he wants. He wants me living-but-dead.”