“How is that possbile?' Harrison asked. 'He is so *hot*.''My dad? Christ, that's gross.''He is.''Ew.”

“A few weeks ago my uncle came over to borrow my dad's socket set and when he asked my dad how he was my dad said oh unexceptional. Living quietly with my disappointments. And how are you”

“That's right. Uh-huh. Uh-huh," Nick said arrogantly. "You might know karate, boy, but I know gorilla, and I'm a level 40 champion in it. Let's hear it for Diddy Kong! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!" He mimicked the sound of a gorilla as he held on for dear life.”

“...the mix of the cool desert air and Harrison's hot tongue pushed deep inside of me. My body is aching and convulsing with pleasure, as he works me over...”

“How different our standard is from Christ's. We ask how much a man gives. Christ asks how much he keeps.”

“That waitress was flirting with me," Dad announced once we were out of the restaurant. He said it in his "whispering voice," which meant it was still loud enough for the waitress, all of her coworkers, and the shoppers at every other store in the mall to overhear."Ew," I said. "She was not."Dad chuckled with delight over how hot and eligible he imagined himself to be. "She kept coming over to 'try to collect my plate'...""Because that is her job," I reminded him."And the way she looked at your mother? Pure jealousy!" Dad slipped his arm around Mom's waist. "Poor thing. I left her a big tip.”