“I'm sick of the ignorance that lack of funding has generated, of the fathers who apporach me at dinner parties with their four-year-old girls clasped to their pant legs and say, "Yeah, but studies say kids can buy drugs more easily than they can buy alcohol." To which I always respond, "I guess that means you keep heroin in your liquor cabinet?”

“Whatever your methods, your point about drugs must be made. If you’re lucky enough to have a heroin addict in your extended family, you can always park him at the threshold of your child’s bedroom door for a few hours right before bed time. It’s much more effective than those car crash docudramas that are supposed to keep kids from drinking and driving, and it’s free; unless you have to buy the heroin to get the guy to do it. It’s a tough love kind of solution, but I got over it and so will your kid.”

“If you buy an SUV, you're buying your safety at the expense of someone else's." ... If you're driving a Hyundai, which basically runs on air and tofu, and you get in an accident with an SUV, are you going to say, "Well, at least I have the courage of my convictions?" Hell, no. You're going to say: "Soon's I get outta this hospital bed and find my legs, I'm gonna get me a Suburban. Loaded.”

“So I'm guessing you're Seven and Ten; What can you do?" I say as I find our rifles in the sand and hand each of them a gun."You can call me Marina," the girl with the brown hair says. "And I can breathe under water and see in the dark and heal the sick and wounded. And I have telekinesis."Call me Ella, I hear ten say in my head. Aside from my telepathy, I can change ages."Awesome. I'm four, that nut job with the long black hair is nine and the beast is my chimaera, Bernie Kosar.”

“Says the girl dressed up in formal Goth mourning," Shane said. "Seriously, who buys a black lace veil? You keep that on hand for special occasions, like prom and kid's birthdays?”

“The worst thing I can say about democracy is that it has tolerated the Right Honourable Gentleman for four and a half years. - MORE The worst thing I can say about democracy is that it has tolerated the Right Honourable Gentleman for four and a half years.”