“I’ve been thinking I’d like to be Daisy; I’d like to have someone like Gatsby stare at my house for whole years and never stop dreaming of me”

“I’m like a staircase, she was like an elevator, and our relationship never escalated above friendship. I’d like to think we’ll one day be a couple, but I’m not going to wear a fishbowl on my head and dream about it. That wouldn’t be fair to me, her, or the goldfish I’d be displacing.”

“Honestly, I’ve never felt better in my life. It’s like somebody flicked a switch and I’ve suddenly realized how crazy I’d been acting all those years. All that talk about interfacing with an ultra-dimensional Phoenix deity – it was absolutely insane.”

“If beards flowed like rivers, then I’d stop shaving my facial St. John’s, and I’d have one of the few major beards in the world that grew north.”

“I’d been kissed before, many times, but never like that.”

“Lana looked at me like I’d just said I’d never watched Bring It On, or something.”