“Call her Betty Fucking Crocker, because the cake was so going to be worth the bake.”

“We came from Bethlehem, Georgia bearing Betty Crocker cake mixes into the jungle.”

“I'm worried that the lady's going to be a hooker - and you're afraid she's BETTY CROCKER!Molly Jane Fletcher”

“Be the kind of friend that you want to have.This is what it all boils down to. Listen when they bitch. Tell them they'll be okay. Go over and check in on their cat when they're on vacation. Call them on their birthday, or better yet bake a cake in the shape of their initial. Keep their secrets. Treat them like what they are--the rare person in this world who gives a fuck about you not because they have to, but because they want to. Give a fuck about them.”

“You can be two things if you're a woman, Dolores. Betty Crocker or a floozy. Just remember your place - even if it kills you.”

“I have to go," I say, "I am baking a cake.”