“My looks had gone from well-kempt cheerleader to apocalyptic disasterpiece.”

“I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.”

“A cheerleader? Do I look like a guy who'd be interested in talking to a cheerleader?”

“Somehow the bright beauty had gone from April afternoon and from her heart as well and the sad sweetness of remembering was as bitter as gall.”

“I was a soccer cheerleader. It doesn’t get nerdier than that. I was fired from the soccer cheerleading squad after one year, which I believe to this day is unprecedented. You have to understand, no one went to the soccer games. In fact, I believe part of my duties as a cheerleader was to bake brownies for the team.”

“That dark, dingy, cobwebbed basement had taken all my life from me. That place was where I gave myself up, destroyed my own will for him, and now it was gone. My will was dead, so I might as well be dead.”