“With a sigh, she asked, “Why do you care if I believe you or not?”“Because if you think I got a leg over with that slag, then the chance of anything sexual with you will be drastically reduced.”Without looking up, she said, “Cadeon, a chance can’t be reduced from zero.”“Gods, I love it when you talk mathy to me.”

“Why?" I whispered. "Why do you love me?" "God told me to," she said softly. "He told me that you were the one." "When?" "In preschool - when you freaked out just because I got my hair cut."I pulled back from her and looked to see if she was serious.She was.”

“Gods, I love it when you talk mathy to me.”

“Why would I want to take a chance on being hurt agan?" She asked."Because you're not over me," he said. "Any more than I'm over you.”

“God, I wish I could see your face when I ask you this question.Here goes: Is there a chance you could love me? Even a little?Because I do – love you. And I think you know that already too.”

“Mom." I couldn't believe she was doing this again. She was taking this moment, this time when I was strongest, away from me."I don't care what I have to do," she said, her voice low and even. "I don't care if I have to send you away or switch schools. I don't care if I have to follow you twenty-four hours a day, you will not see him, Halley. You will not destroy yourself this way.""Why are you just assuming I'm going back to him?" I asked her, just as she was drawing in breath to make another point. "Why don't you ask me what I said to him out there?"She shut her mouth, caught off guard. "What?""Why don't you ever wait a second and see what I'm planning, or thinking, before you burst in with your opinions and ideas? You never even give me a chance.""Yes, I do," she said indignantly."No," I said. "You don't. And then you wonder why I never tell you anyone or share anything with you. I can never trust you with anything or share anything with you. I can never trust you with anything, give you any piece of me without you grabbing it to keep for yourself.""That's not true," she said slowly, but it was just now hitting her, I could see it. "Halley, you don't always know what's at stake, and I do.""I will never learn," I said to her slowly, "until you let me."And so we stood there in the kitchen, my mother and I, facing off over everything that had built up since June, when I was willing to hand myself over free and clear. Now I needed her to return it all to me, with the faith that I could make my own way.”