“God grant me the courage to date the men who aren't idiots, the serenity to accept the fact that many men are idiots, and the wisdom to know the difference”

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I'm a bleeping idiot.”

“....And then I turned and saw a guy staring at me...."What are you looking at, idiot?" I asked, giving him the sneer that had served me so well."My future wife. The mother of my children.”

“Granted, I'd waited a long time to hear those words. Would've sold a kidney-maybe two-to have heard them at one point. Now, though...they didn't have the same impact. They were, in fact, an overcooked noodle in the pasta salad of love.”

“sometimes our hearts just need time to accept what are heads already know”

“I've made up boyfriends too' Karen said, nodding her head slowly. 'The best man I ever dated was all in my head' 'Thank you!' I exclaimed.”

“I'd wait as long as you needed, as long as Nicole needed. But I know you feel something for me, and I love you, and I've never felt this way about anyone, ever. I want to be with you. I want you to pick me. I know Emma will always be your first love, and that's fine. But don't just...don't just let me go.”