“OH!” KATE GRUNTED as she sat down behind her desk.“My side is killing me. I’m ovulating, I think. That sucker must be huge.”“Must we discuss?” Jon asked.“Man up, weenie boy,” Kate said.“You man up, Venus Williams,” Jon replied. “I’m a gay home-ec teacher. I never have to man up. I never will man up. As God is my witness, I’ll never man up again.”

“I've made up boyfriends too' Karen said, nodding her head slowly. 'The best man I ever dated was all in my head' 'Thank you!' I exclaimed.”

“The love of your life won't be the man you end up with, and you'll always compare the two.”

“So you can’t marry Harry, Mom! Not if you still love Daddy!” I sound like a ten-year-old, but I can’t help it. Buttercup comes over to me and puts her head on my lap.“Love gets used up, Chastity,” Mom says gently, reaching up to smooth my hair. “If it’s not returned, it gets used up.”

“Gus, do I have to put you in a cage or something? Because I will! Don't push it, mister!""As an officer of the court, I feel obliged to speak up and tell you that child imprisonment is against the law," I said."Right. Well, then, I'll take that as your offer to babysit all four of my precious angels when you get home.""Then again, cages can be very comfortable.”

“Okay, we get it, Jodi-with-an-i,” I said, smiling pleasantly up at her. “You have an adorable son andare still quite available. Dennis, however, is with me. If you would just take your boobs out of myboyfriend’s face, I would deeply appreciate it.”

“Nicole’s door opened, and she stomped down the hall. “I have something to say,” she said, giving him the Slitty Eyes of Death. “You’re totally unfair, and if I run away, you shouldn’t be surprised.” “Don’t make me put a computer chip in your ear,” Liam answered. “It’s not funny! I hate you.” “Well, I love you, even if you did ruin my life by turning into a teenager,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “Did you study for your test?” “Yes.” “Good.” He looked at his daughter—so much like Emma, way too pretty. Why weren’t there convent schools anymore? Or chastity belts? “Want some supper? I saved your plate.” She rolled her eyes with all the melodrama a teenager could muster. “Fine. I may as well become a fat pig since I can’t ever go on a date.” “That’s my girl,” he said and, grinning, got up to heat up her dinner.”