“Ten bucks says the virgin dies before the slut,” I said, taking a sip of my soda.“You’re on. Oh, hey, don’t go in the shower, for God’s sake,” Nick advised the scantily dressed college student on the screen as she tiptoed into the bathroom. He stuffed a fistful of popcorn into his mouth. “Well, okay, there you go,” he added as she was slashed to death by Freddy’s fingernails. “Can’t say I didn’t warn you. Your poor parents.”

“I can’t do it, Caer,” Eref said. “I can’t say goodbye to you, too.”Caer’s smile grew as she came even closer. “I’m going with you,” she whispered, “so you don’t have to say goodbye.”They kissed. Her lips felt soft and cool, and her mouth was unbelievably sweet. Caer’s hand brushed his cheek and brought him closer. He reached up and took herhand in his. He didn’t want to ever let go.”

“I didn’t say, You are such a stuffy asshole. And he didn’t say, If you ever burn one of my quarter-of-a-million dollar rugs again I’ll take it out of your hide, and I didn’t say, Oh, honey, wouldn’t you like to? And he didn’t say Grow up, Ms. Lane, I don’t take little girls to my bed, and I didn’t say I wouldn’t go there if it was the only safe place from the Lord Master in all of Dublin.”

“Other Guardians have died fulfilling their duty to you longbefore I came along,” he said, touching my cheek, my hair. “Iwill die for you one day.”“Don’t say that,” I begged. “Will, I love you.You’re the only one who understands what I go through everyday, the only one I can share this world with. You’re my bestfriend, and I can’t take it if you’re going to shut me out likethis.”

“Not half as much as I’d miss me if you killed me. (He blinked like a girl and leaned against Ash’s shoulder.) Please don’t hurt me, Ash. Please. I don’t want to die while I’m still a virgin. At least let me get laid before you kill me – which according to my mom I can’t do until I’m married and I can’t do that until I finish college. So you have to wait a good ten years before you snuff me. Deal? (Nick)”

“Oh, hey, Claire,” she said, and blinked. “Where are you going?”“Funeral,” Shane said. On-screen, a zombie shrieked and died gruesomely.“Yeah? Cool! Whose?”“Hers.” Shane said.”