“My futon was a fancy one with armrests and everything. It was a pain in the ass to get open because it weighed a ton. I figured I’d make the bed when Luke got back. He’d probably be able to pull it out by glaring at it.”

“The phone at my ass started ringing, I leaned forward and pulled it out. “Don’t answer that,” Noah ordered.“Fuck you,” I shot back, saw the display said “Luke calling” and flipped it open.“Yo.”“Babe,” Luke replied.“I’ve been kidnapped again,” I informed him.“I know. I’m following.”

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. Discipline weights ounces--regret weighs tons.”

“If my name were Entist, I’d probably be a dentist. If my name were Dennis, I’d probably be into tennis. And if my name were Funnalingus, well, I’ll let you figure out what I’d enjoy.”

“Now was the time to get everything back on track, to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life before I got all distracted by a soul mate with a bod for sin.”