“They’re on Lee and Indy Sex Watch.”“Come again?”“They want to know when we’ve done it.”Silence. I went on.“If we don’t do it soon, they might force us to at gunpoint.”“Christ.”“I know. No pressure though. I told them we’re taking is slow.”“You have to report in?”“I kind of feel obliged.”“How’s that?”I didn’t want to tell him I’d recruited them both for Lee Maneuvres in the past, so I said, “Never mind.”“If something doesn’t happen soon, it’s gonna be bad. I can’t keep focussed, all I can think of is what’s on your Victoria’s Secret credit statement.“You need to keep focused,” I told him, “bad guys are after me.”“Tell me about it.”

“Okay, I’ve never done this. This is the guy’s department. What do I do? We need to get Lee’s size and we need industrial strength. Show me which ones to buy.”Eddie looked at the display and looked at me. “You’re askin’ me to help you buy condoms for Lee?”“Industrial strength condoms,” I reminded him. ...“Let me get this straight,” he said and I could tell he was laughing, “you dragged Eddie to Walgreen’s to help pick out condoms for me?”“Well, I didn’t know!”…“Did you tell Eddie the part about long-lasting reliability?”Oh Lord.“Forget it,” I said.“Indy?” he called.“What?” I snapped, kinda pissy.“I love you.” He still had laughter in his voice and there was something very cool about him laughing and saying I love you at the same time.”

“I looked up at Lee when we stopped in front of Hector and informed him helpfully, “You might want to take your arm away. Blanca tells me Hector doesn’t like men touching me.” “Blanca told you that?” Lee asked, his smile (and arm) still firmly in place.“Yes. She’s known Hector, like, his whole life so I think she’s in the position to know.” Lee nodded, his smile somehow bigger like he was trying not to laugh then his eyes moved to Hector and he said, “I tried to stop it.”Hector looked at Lee then looked at me then he muttered, “Oh fuck.”“It was Ally’s idea,” Lee told Hector.“What was Ally’s idea?” Hector asked Lee.“It was not Ally’s idea!” I cried.“It wasn’t!” super-power-eared Ally yelled from the open back window of Lee’s Explorer. “It was Sadie’s idea. I just was offering moral support.”“Shut up, Ally!” Indy shouted out the open passenger side window.“I will not shut up! I’m not taking the fall for this one!” Ally shouted back.I turned to the car, dislodging Lee’s arm and lifted both my hands and pressed down. “No one’s going to take a fall. Everyone calm down. It’s all okay. It’s rock ‘n’ roll!” I screamed.“Righteous!” Ally screamed back.“Rock on, sister!” Indy screamed too.“It’s rock ‘n’ roll?” Lee asked, sounding as amused as he looked.“You all wanna quit screamin’ at three o’clock in the mornin’ in my fuckin’ neighborhood?” Hector suggested.Mm, well maybe we were being an eensy bit loud.“Time for beddie by,” I announced (sounding like Ralphie), got up on tiptoe, kissed Lee’s cheek (like Ralphie and Buddy would do to me), turned and gave Indy and Ally a double devil’s horns (like Ava taught me) and shouted, “Rock on!” They shouted back in unison, “Rock on!”“Christ,” Hector muttered.”

“I turned to Eddie. "Okay, I've never done this. This is the guy's department. What do I do? We need to get Lee's size and we need industrial strength. Show me which ones to buy."Eddie looked at the display and looked to me. "You're askin' me to help you buy condoms for Lee?"" Industrial strength condoms," I reminded him.Eddie stared at me like he was re-thinking his crush on me."okay," I said, trying to be helpful, "we'll break it down. We'll start with the size."He shook his head. "First, I'm a little worried you're lookin' to me to tell you Lee's size. Lee es mi hermano , but we aren't that close. Second, they don't come in sizes.”

“You have two choices,” Vance said. I stopped in the doorway to the hall and put my hands on my hips. “And those would be?” I asked.“We can talk or we can f**k.”My eyes rounded. Then they narrowed. I didn’t answer.“Though,” he went on, “I should tell you even if you pick talking, after we’re done, we’re still gonna f**k.”I frowned at him and leaned in. “You are too much,” I snapped.He ignored my threatening posture. “You don’t chose, I will, and I’ll pick f**king. We can talk after.”

“I don't know what shit you're working though but I know its there. I know you'd rather not even acknowledge it and definitely don't want me to be a part of the process. I don't care. Princess, this is happening between you and me.""What, exactly, do you mean by 'this'? You fucking me?" I snapped..." Yeah. Me fucking you. In your bed, on your couch, in my bed and anywhere else I can think of. I'm gonna do you on your back, on your knees and you're gonna ride me. And when I've exhausted you and you don't have those fucking shields up, I'm gonna make you talk to me and tell me what this shit is about and then, maybe, I can help you with it.”

“When we moved me in and I fretfully shared this with him, he pulled me loosely in his arms, dipped his face close and told me, “This décor isn’t mine either. It’s Ma’s. Do what you want. Anything you want. I don’t give a fuck. Just as long as you’re happy here.”I’d be happy on a deserted island that had nothing but a palm tree and a lifetime supply of sunscreen as long as Chace was there. And it was because of statements just like that I would.I didn’t tell him that.I just whispered, “Okay.”