“But it did make me realize that I shouldn't go around judging people who have stringy hair, because maybe they have a very good reason for having hair like that.”

“Oh my God. I thought I was going to have an aneurysm right there in line. Your hair smells really good? Your hair smells really good? Who did he think he was? James Bond? You don't tell someone their hair smells good. Not in a mall.”

“There speaks the passion and the rebellion that go with red hair. My second wife had red hair. She was a beautiful woman, and she loved me. Strange, is it not? I have always admired red-haired women. Your hair is very beautiful. There are other things I like about you. Your spirit, your courage; the fact that you have a mind of your own.~Mr. Aristides”

“I have never known courage to be judged by the length of a man's hair. Or, for the matter of that, whether he has any hair at all.”

“Let me explain: There are all sorts of reasons why women pick one colorist over another. Some will go to you if you have the same kind of dog or because they like the way you look. Some will only go to a man, because they want to feel a man’s hands on them. Then, of course, you have the editorial mongrels, who will go only to whoever is in this month’s Elle or Allure. But no matter what brings them to you in the first place, they’ll drop you cold if you’re not a good colorist. Which means no mistakes. Not ever. Brain surgeons are allowed more mistakes than hair colorists. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that what I do is brain surgery or in any way important. Between you and me, it’s just hair. But a certain kind of woman cares about her hair. A lot.”

“Chicken is good and never stop eating you will look like me and you will have hair like me and sing like me and be 500 pounds!!!!”