“you can plan so that nothing goes wrong in life. But something will, and it won't be what you expected to go wrong. So make sure you're with someone who will help you bail the water out of the boat, not someone who will blame you for the hole.”

“What if I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life, and you're upsetting the balance of nature and God's plan?”

“Love isn't safe. And whoever you love will hurt you. It's part of the human experience. No one is perfect...People make mistakes. The secret is to focus on what they do right and decide what quirks you can live with.”

“Marriage is like calculus. Complicated and inexplicably remote. People think it's about loving one another and riding off into the sunset, but no one tells you the horse is lame or that it's an eclipse, and there won't be a sunset that day.”

“Wouldn't it be great if God just blew an air horn in your ear and told you exactly what to do? It's that whole free will business. Gets in my way every time.”

“I'm not saying there aren't a few who marry the guy for his money. There are, but I believe there are more of us who marry because we grew up believing in the fairy tale, and no one ever told us it was a lie.”

“There's a world I could do without: public underwear showings. There was a time in my lifetime when you had to open a J.C. Penney catalog to see people in their underwear. Now it's like the national pastime, hanging out in your underwear. I don't see why they have to pay anyone to model it.”