“I'm gay. I know things.”

“Now, whatever you do, don't say anything, because no one must know that Liberace is gay.""Excuse me?" I said. "I'm eight. I know he's gay.”

“And stop calling people gay. I don't even know why that's an insult. There are real gay people in the world, you know, and there's nothing wrong with them. Calling someone gay, like it's a bad thing, is like calling someone a dentist--it doesn't make any freaking sense!”

“ Breast feeding is a good thing. I promise you that's not what made you gay. "" I know that, men did that. And penises.”

“You're not gay, are you?What?!I mean you've never had a boyfriend. And you're not exactly...girly.I'm not gay. I'm just unpopular.”

“Another Thing I'm Sick of Hearing:If I started that gay rights group, I must be gay.So if i start an animal rights group,what does that make me?A giraffe?”