“I had started to sweat like a beauty queen at the last minute of a pregnancy test.”

“It was seven-thirty. The dance started in half an hour. And I was buck-naked. Which probably would have made an interesting night, but the last time I'd checked I was neither a porn star nor a prostitute.I'd already tried on every half-decent outfit, every quarter-decent outfit, even every limit-of-f-as-decent-approaches-zero-is-infinity outfit.”

“I tensed up like someone had just given me a surprise rectal exam.”

“She crashed. I think she was literally high on sugar.Seriously I thought she was going to start free basing pixy stix.”

“And i was buck-naked. Which probably would have made for an interesting night, but the last time i'd checked i was neither a porn star or a prostitute.”

“So he likes being mean to you. And you like that he likes bean mean to you.And I like being mean to him too.”

“He said, “So . . . do you like music?” It was a pretty stupid question. I mean, who doesn’t like music? Okay, maybe some puritanical zealot out in Hicksville. But really. It was kind of like asking, “Do you like food?” “Isn’t oxygen great?” “Have you got skin? I do.” I knew what he meant, though.”