“Rhythm? Not only do I have to defy gravity. I have to have rhythm while I do it?”

“He said, “So . . . do you like music?” It was a pretty stupid question. I mean, who doesn’t like music? Okay, maybe some puritanical zealot out in Hicksville. But really. It was kind of like asking, “Do you like food?” “Isn’t oxygen great?” “Have you got skin? I do.” I knew what he meant, though.”

“I have been advised to try to find one redeeming quality in him to focus on. So far, the only thing I can think of is that he is breathing. But even that is questionable, because he is very likely a zombie or some other form of the undead.”

“And i was buck-naked. Which probably would have made for an interesting night, but the last time i'd checked i was neither a porn star or a prostitute.”

“Your neck smells like cheese,' I said.'Oh,' He said, 'that's my cheese cologne. I have a whole selection. Chedder, American, Swiss.”

“If I was Todd's wife in real life, I'd have to kill myself. Okay, maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic. I wouldn't kill myself. But I'd definitely turn lesbian, at the very least.”

“I couldn't exactly blame Jane Austen for being a romantic. What the hell else was there to do back then for fun?”