“I would like to get rid of the homophobes, sexists, and racists in our audience. I know they're out there and it really bothers me.”

“I am not gay, although I wish I were, just to piss off homophobes.”

“I really haven't had that exciting of a life. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life. So I pretty much like to make it up. I'd rather tell a story about somebody else.”

“I knew I was different. I thought that I might be gay or something because I couldn't identify with any of the guys at all. None of them liked art or music. They just wanted to fight and get laid. It was many years ago but it gave me this real hatred for the average American macho male.”

“I would love to be erased from our association with Pearl Jam or the Nymphs and other first time offenders.”

“I started to be really proud of the fact I was gay even though I wasn't”

“I only remember a few things about Jimmy Carter. He had big lips and liked peanuts. I now know that Jimmy Carter was and is a good man.”