“Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.”

“That's one thing Earthlings might learn to do, if they tried hard enough: Ignore the awful times and concentrate on the good ones.”

“Soft citizens of the American democracy learned to kick a man below the belt and make the bastard scream. ”

“Another Kilgore Trout book there in the window was about a man who built a time machine so he could go back and see Jesus. It worked, and he saw Jesus when Jesus was only twelve years old. Jesus was learning the carpentry trade from his father.Two Roman soldiers came into the shop with a mechanical drawing on papyrus of a device they wanted built by sunrise the next morning. It was a cross to be used in the execution of a rabble-rouser.Jesus and his father built it. They were glad to have the work. And the rabble-rouser was executed on it. So it goes.”

“The more pain I train myself to stand, the more I learn. You are afraid of pain now, Unk, but you won't learn anything if you don't invite the pain. And the more you learn, the gladder you will be to stand the pain.”

“So I am about to be a free man again, to wander where I please.I find the prospect nauseating.I think that tonight I will hand Howard W, Campbell, Jr., for crimes against himself.”

“Only in books do we learn what’s really going on.”