“Here's all she had to say about death: "Oh my, oh my.”
“Oh, my God, when Ivy got it wrong, she really got it wrong. I didn’t need a boyfriend. I had all the drama I could stand right here.”
“What cat? Oh! MY CAT. The cat… that is mine. Oh, she’s... ” I had said it was a she, right? “She’s fine. All meowing and purring and other cat things.”
“oh my god, she said are you going to be reasonable about this?”
“Are you ready for my love gun?” he says.Uh-oh. “What’s a love gun? Is that a sex toy?”“No,” he says. “I’m talking about my penis.”“Oh,” I say. “Then yes. Fire away”
“Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling porcupine," she crooned. "Little critters fried like fritters come out crunchy and divine.”