“I'd be grateful if you'd say anything, true or not, because I ran out of ideas...responsible or irresponsible, true or not, years ago. Stick your stainless steel spoon in this unhappy old man's brains Doctor...and stir.”

“I sing of happiness, he says, and insecurity shows through--poisons it. I sing of unhappiness, and it spoils that, too, because my real unhappiness isn't great or noble but cheap--money unhappiness.--"$10,000 a Year, Easy”

“Only nut cases want to be president. This was true even in high school. Only clearly disturbed people ran for class president.”

“I wouldn't be a doctor for anything. That's the worst job.”

“I try to keep deep love out of my stories because, once that particular subject comes up, it is almost impossible to talk about anything else. Readers don’t want to hear about anything else. They go gaga about love. If a lover in a story wins his true love, that’s the end of the tale, even if World War III is about to begin, and the sky is black with flying saucers.”

“If what Billy Pilgrim learned from the Tralfamadorians is true, that we will all live forever, no matter how dead we may sometimes seem to be, I am not overjoyed. Still--if I am going to spend eternity visiting this moment and that, I'm grateful that so many of those moments are nice.”

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”