“Maybe they invited me because they know I have a tuxedo”

“I love you, because the love you gave me was the only love I've ever had, the only love I ever will have”

“Jonah-John-if I had been a Sam, I would have been a Jonah still-not because I have been unlucky for others, but because somebody or something has compelled me to be certain places, at certain times, without fail. Conveyances and motives, both conventional and bizarre, have been provided. And, according to plan, at each appointed second, at each appointed place this Jonah was there.”

“Is this some kind of joke?""That's for me to know and you to find out.""Maybe you think it's funny to put up signs about people who want to commit suicide.""Are you about to?""And what if I was?""I wouldn't tell you the gorgeous reasons I have discovered for going on living.""What would you do?""I'd ask you to name the rock-bottom price you'd charge to go on living for just one more week.”

“She was a dull person, but a sensational invitation to make babies.”

“Invitations to travel are like dancing lessons from God.”

“I think I succeeded as a writer because I did not come out of an English department. I used to write in the chemistry department. And I wrote some good stuff. If I had been in the English department, the prof would have looked at my short stories, congratulated me on my talent, and then showed me how Joyce or Hemingway handled the same elements of the short story. The prof would have placed me in competition with the greatest writers of all time, and that would have ended my writing career.”