“Reading a novel, War and Peace for example, is no Catnap. Because a novel is so long, reading one is like being married forever to somebody nobody knows or cares about.”

“In Trout's novel, The Pan-Galactic Memory Bank, the hero is on a space ship two hundred miles long and sixty-two miles in diameter. He gets a realistic novel out of the branch library in his neighborhood. He reads about sixty pages of it, and then he takes it back. The librarian asks him why he doesn't like it, and he says to her, 'I already know about human beings.”

“Most white people in Midland City were insecurewhen they spoke, so they kept their sentences short and their wordssimple, in order to keep embarrassing mistakes to a minimum.Dwayne certainly did that. Patty certainly did that.This was because their English teachers would wince and cover theirears and give them flunking grades and so on whenever they failed tospeak like English aristocrats before the First World War. Also: theywere told that they were unworthy to speak or write their language ifthey couldn’t love or understand incomprehensible novels and poemsand plays about people long ago and far away, such as Ivanhoe.The black people would not put up with this. They went on talkingEnglish every which way. They refused to read books they couldn’tunderstand—on the grounds they couldn’t understand them. Theywould ask such impudent questions as, “Whuffo I want to read no Taleof Two Cities? Whuffo?”

“The bible may be the greatest story every told, but the most popular story is about a couple fornicating that stops for one reason or another while it is still novel.”

“Because of the movies nobody will believe that it was babies who fought the war.”

“As for literary criticism in general: I have long felt that any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel or a play or a poem is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae or a banana split.”

“Unfortunately, that still leaves plenty of Americans who don't read much or think much -- who will still be extremely useful in unjust wars. We are sick about that. We did the best we could. ”