“The function of the artist is to make people like life better than they have before.”

“The function of art is to make people like life more than they do.”

“The master of ceremonies asked people to say what they thought the function of the novel might be in modern society, and one critic said, “To provide touches of color in rooms with all-white walls.” Another one said, “To describe blow-jobs artistically.”

“Artists use frauds to make human beings seem more wonderful than they really are. Dancers show us human beings who move much more gracefully than human beings really move. Films and books and plays show us people talking much more entertainingly than people really talk, make paltry human enterprises seem important. Singers and musicians show us human beings making sounds far more lovely than human beings really make. Architects give us temples in which something marvelous is obviously going on. Actually, practically nothing is going on.”

“They like life alright, but that they would like it even better if they could know that it was going to end sometime.”

“Just 'cause something makes you feel better than anything else, that don't mean it's good for you.”

“He would make a good lamp post if he'd weather better and didn't have to eat.”