“Thomas Jefferson HighSchool [..] His high school was named after a slave owner who was also one ofthe world’s greatest theoreticians on the subject of human liberty.”

“The American fliers turned in their uniforms, became high school kids. And Hitler turned into a baby, Billy Pilgrim supposed. That wasn't in the movie. Billy was extrapolating. Everybody turned into a baby, and all humanity, without exception, conspired biologically to produce two perfect people named Adam and Eve, he supposed.”

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”

“Roses are red,And ready for plucking,You're sixteen,And ready for high school.”

“I chose cultural anthropology, since it offered the greatest opportunity to write high-minded balderdash.”

“Only nut cases want to be president. This was true even in high school. Only clearly disturbed people ran for class president.”

“Shrapnel was invented by an Englishman of the same name. Don't you wish you could have something named after you?”